Top 10 Other Things Said in Skyrim by the Guard Who Used to be An Adventurer Like You

1. I used to be an adventurer like you.  Then my wife filed for divorce.
2. I used to be an adventurer like you.  Then you came along and took my job.
3. I used to be an adventurer like you.  Then I got bored because I couldn't level up anymore and had more money than I could ever spend.
4. I used to be an adventurer like you.  Then I took an arrow in the knee.  So take care of your knees.
5. I used to be an adventurer like you.  Then I got stung by a bee.
6. I used to be an adventurer like you.  Oh wait, not you.  I had you confused with someone else.  You guys all look alike.
7. I used to be an adventurer like you.  But I wanted a 401(k) and dental plan.
8. I used to be an adventurer like you.  Now I just Tivo.
9. I used to be an adventurer like you.  Then I got sick of people saying "Bless you" every time I said "Fus ro dah."
10. I used to be an adventurer like you.  Then a guard asked me to trade places with him for a while and he never came back.
11. I used to be an adventurer like you.  Then I got tired of being an Internet meme, so I ... oh.

Upton Girl

This is Kate Upton:

What matters is that her uncle, U.S. Representative Fred Upton (R-Michigan), is co-sponsoring a bill in an attempt to stop the Environmental Protection Agency from regulating greenhouse gases.

Someone wrote a song about it.  Like to hear it?  Here it go!

Also, Congressman Upton introduced the Video Game Decency Act of 2007.

Green Kitsch

Who knows how long this green movement will last?  Either environmentalism will become such a way of life that it won't be noted as a movement anymore or it will be abandoned and we'll look back on it with mixed feelings.  In any case, the blog Go Back to Berkeley is here to capture our cute, unabashed attempts to go green.  (Spotted in a post on the Quarter to Three forum.)

Pancakes vs. Nuclear Bombs

We had been doing so well with the downloadable content for Fallout 3. Fine, there were glitches and disappointments, but at least the add-ons were downloadable rather than packaged and shipped to retail stores. But then they put the first two add-ons on store shelves, and did the same with the next two. What's more, they're going to release everything again in a Game of the Year retail package in mid-October. I know that making the add-ons available for retail purchase helps those who cannot download the them, but isn't it wasteful and unnecessary to release these intermediate packages between the regular and GOTY editions?



Manufactured, packaged, shipped and sold without good reason, these retail add-on packs are a waste of resources. Of course, I'll be contributing to the problem by purchasing the GOTY edition "just to have it," even though I have the collector's edition and can download the add-ons.



Pancakes are delicious. They can be made in a variety of flavors, or even plain. A stack of pancakes in the morning will makes you happy, satisfied, and ready to take on the day. Nuclear bombs can cause severe burns, hemorrhaging, and death.



Pancakes are easy to make. Even if you make a mistake, it's no big deal. Just clean up and try again! Nuclear bombs are very hard to make. You really need to know what you're doing because if you add too much of this or that ingredient, your day is probably ruined.



Pancakes are inexpensive. Even those of modest means can afford to whip up a batch of pancakes for Sunday brunch. Nuclear bombs are very expensive to buy and then you have to worry about storing them. You might have been able to afford nuclear bombs through financing options once upon a time, but in this economy? Come on.



Pancakes make you popular. If you say, "Look everyone, I have pancakes," people will want to be your friends. That's because everyone loves pancakes. If you say, "Look everyone, I have nuclear bombs," people will get really mad at you. They won't want to be your friends anymore, even if you later serve pancakes.



Pancakes are fun. You can make them in a variety of shapes, like hearts and stars. Kids like that. You can make them thick, thin, or normal. You can eat them one by one or stack them up and dig into them like that. It's even fun to pour syrup on pancakes and watch as it expands in a pool and drips down the side in little rivulets. Nuclear bombs aren't as fun. Pouring syrup on them just makes a sad mess. They don't encourage much creativity and only come in shapes that kids don't like.



I think I've made the case for pancakes pretty well. So instead of buying some nuclear bombs or Fallout 3 retail add-ons this morning, why not enjoy some pancakes?



Pancakes. They're on the plate.

Gaming's Citizen Kane Found!

I closed my games as art article with what I thought were the prerequisites for gaming's Citizen Kane. But Jim Sterling of Destructoid has revealed that we've had our Citizen Kane for a long time. It's a terrible game, but I admit that "rise from your grave" correlates nicely with "rosebud."